8am Commute

The Bus.

I sit down. Instantly, the man next to me starts talking to me at me. AT ME! before I’ve even had a chance to free myself of the tangle of bags/jackets/scarves. So in turn, I immediately I have the kinda surprised, kinda taken aback, kinda annoyed face from the get go.

Man: [never looking up from his paper] You smell like coffee.

Me: [Instantly annoyed. I hold up my mug of coffee so that he's forced to look AT it] No, this smells like coffee. I smell like I just got out of the shower.

Man: [finally looking at me, but only moving his eyes, so I'm getting the looking-over-your-glasses glare from him] Same thing.

[He immediately goes back to his paper after these two ugly little words.]

Me: Uhh. No. [pause] Those are completely different things.

He seemed incapable of discerning the difference. Children can do that sir, CHILDREN.

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