d i s c o v e r i n g monsters

In My Head.

Posted in Uncategorized by Jules on 19 February 2009

A few of my required texts this semester

Stuck a bit in my head these days. Words are not flowing easily from head to page. Or from page to head for that matter. This semester is difficult, and it’s leaving me feeling a bit wonky. My writing is becoming more repetitive, less original, and less cohesive. Everything is at a bit of a jumble. 
This may have some correlation to the films I am studying (or the 18 credits that I’m taking). Cinema of the 1970s, Film Noir and Horror films. They are all emotionally taxing, demanding, and sophisticated in a way I will never be. Not to mention the fact that the women of the 1940s can make anyone feel slovenly. It’s quite the one-two punch, to feel inadequate academically and physically. Not a pity party for myself, it is just that these actors, these directors, these writers – natural aptitude pours out of them in a way that I feel I will never muster the energy for. There are those who do effortlessly, and those who work long hours to appear to do simply, effortlessly. I am the latter. 
To do all of it and to do nothing. I lean towards one while striving for the other. 
What I need is a terribly good novel, a damn good cappuccino, and a long day in the park. The winter has been mild but it has felt long. Long. Dry. Cold. I feel drained and wind-whipped.
Tickets arrived today for a concert Sean and I are attending the day after finals week ends: Flight of the Conchords with Iron & Wine and Arj Barker at the Red Rocks Amphitheater. A big deal because we really don’t attend concerts. But this one, this one I need. I simply have to get myself through to 16 May, so that I can restore the pieces of my soul I feel I am losing. 
Red Rocks Amphitheater Lightening Storm

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