d i s c o v e r i n g monsters

Real Life

Posted in everyday life, friends, Life by Jules on 4 February 2010

Sometimes my real life is real beautiful.

As often as it is ugly and not put together, it is also beautiful.

I miss my fictional life in California. My fictional life in socal, and my fictional life in the bay area.

Sometimes in real life you only get three hours of sleep. In real life you wake up with snot-like vestiges of flu clinging to your face. In real life there is a bank account at the end of the day.

But sometimes, in real life you wake up to a fresh dusting of snow covering everything, and a beautiful beautiful fog. In real life you get on a bus, you go downtown and all of a sudden you look UP and realize how beautiful, beautiful, beautiful your real life is. Even with its hurt. Even with its disappointments. Even with its sticky, dry sleepy eyes, this real life – this hard life – is beautiful. Beautiful because of, or in spite of its ugliness I’m not sure, but beautiful nonetheless.

I’ve never been so filled up by one singular birthday in my whole life. The amount of gifts, hours of laughter – a laugh I will forever remember, FOOD, drink, phone calls, e-mails, lunches, cakes, pastries, beautiful talks, walks, dinners, text messages, never-ending PACKAGES arriving on my doorstop, new friends, gifts pouring out of one girl’s purse like I’ve never witnessed before. I’m not sure I’ve ever needed a birthday as much as I needed this one. 25 you were one lame-ass year. You, 25, were the real life that is ugly. But without 25 I wouldn’t appreciate 26 quite so much. So, hello 26. It’s nice to meet you. Please be a little bit kinder to me, for I am very, very fragile.

Oh, and hello there, I’m back. Sans camera, and a lot of other things that normal people seem to be able to keep track of, but I’m here. So hello again. It’s nice to converse with you, or at you.. but I like to think with, because it is more like a friendship, and less like a lecture, and I’m far more fond of the former.


One Response

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  1. shalene said, on 7 February 2010 at 12:37 pm

    i’ve been waiting for this. xoxo.

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