d i s c o v e r i n g monsters

It’s like that moment when you decide it’s time to sleep on the floor in the airport.

Posted in everyday life, tired by Jules on 27 April 2010

Also, [fill in everything that might have come before that “also” in your head, and know that this is the end of a long, long list of why no one has heard from me in months] I’m just tired. Deep down tired. This-has-been-too-long-of-a-journey tired. Not give up tired, just tired. Tired the way you get on a WAY too long road trip. And you’ve talked yourself to death with all the people in the car, and it’s just silent. That kinda tired. When you all still really enjoy the company, but holy hell, when do we get to get out of the damn car?? As though everyone is simply holding in all of their thoughts until they get to crack open those doors, and step into the fresh air, and stretch, and take a deep DEEP breath of whatever wonderful, amazing air that was NOT being re-circulated in the car.

The moment right after the silence of getting out of the car, when everyone all of a sudden comes back to life, and starts laughing and talking again.

…I’m just waiting for that moment. The moment when I no longer have to breathe my own re-circulated air.


We’re Not Screw Ups: Why I Love Film.

Posted in film, Life, love, school, seasons, tired by Jules on 12 November 2009

“We have a cardboard window.”

Sometimes you just need a beautiful film to remind you that, you are ok, or that you’re going to be ok – that even when everything around you seems foreign, crazy and unrecognizable as reasonable or sane, that you’re still going to be ok.

Film is often written off as a lot of things. Often it is supposed that I chose this degree because it’s “easy.” Film is a lot of things, none of which are easy. Because of course I would pick something that as its basis in history must battle uphill to prove that it is not simple – that it is not an art form that lacks intelligence. That in the face of everything that is “normal” – sculpture, writing, painting – that it too is art, something that deserves as much appriciation, and requires more from its audience than something static does. So that is why you break my heart when you assume that that which I love is simple-minded – that I am simple-minded.

You don’t always say it this clearly, but this is what is in your face. This is what I hear. This is what I see… The old argument articulated here by Benjamin, “Duhamel calls the movie ‘a pasttime for helots, a diversion for uneducated, wretched, worn-out creatures who are consumed by their worries . . . , a spectacle which requires no concentration and presupposes no intelligence . . . , which kindles no light in the heart and awakens no hope other than the ridiculous one of someonday becoming a ‘star’ in Los Angeles.'”

I don’t agree. I don’t agree with what you see. I see importance. I see something that saves. I see something that speaks. And if you cannot see that, then my heart breaks for you – for what you are missing… for the small life you choose. Because there is something abundant in film… And you are missing it. You have written it off… and there is life in it for you. And you are missing it.

The End.

Posted in photography, school, tired, Uncategorized by Jules on 4 May 2009

Living Room - Early Morning Sunshine


Slowly and painfully typing each sentence for each paper, and memorizing stacks of fatuous facts. One more novel, four more films, Six more papers, three more tests, eleven more days. And then SUMMER!

The Early AM

Posted in everyday life, film, food, home, photography, tired by Jules on 30 March 2009

Flower Mug, Paper Notes



No amount of eye rubbing is going to make these eyes open up this morning – but this mug might. Up early to finish a film paper. A final paper. Not final as in, never-again-will-I-have-to-write-another-paper-about-a-film (because I still have the other 1/2 of this semester to survive + another year of school), but final, as in this crazy weekend class is over after I get my ass to finish writing one more page. (‘Final’ is really more of a fluid definition for me these days…)

So good morning early world. Hello snow. Meet your nemesis, this giant mug of french press coffee.


Posted in food, home, tired by Jules on 29 March 2009



No time or energy for witty repartee. Simply: Beets, Salt, Cayenne Pepper, and White Truffle Oil.